Have you ever heard the words: Go and study medicine that will be a better course for You? When in reality you just want to study theatre arts. Perhaps you like acting and that is want you want to study in the higher instution only to be discouraged by your parents or any one significantly in the ‘older than you’ status.
I can say some if not all our parents are on this table. On their defence they are probably thinking about your future and maybe your well-being? If right now you’re studying in the university on a course that you didn’t really want to do, you’re on this table ma. If you’re studying a course that you were told to do and you manufactured an interest like I did? Sir? ma? You’re on this table.
Law Isn’t something I really wanted to do but it became what I ended up doing because I was told from a small age that because I liked talking and debating(I argued a lot and most times I could’ve been wrong) law would be the perfect course for me by an adult(a lot of pastors said this to me too) And that was it for me. Well, till I got to university and I quickly realised that it Isn’t for me. How did I know this? Because all the sections, the talk, the cases(And there are a lot of funny cases) were not for me. So now I’m out of school on the way to transfer to another school in hopes of changing my course. Now the big question is ; What the h*ll am I going to do besides law? The truth is I don’t know? Cause I’ve jumped in this band wagon. Manufactured an interest in said course and I disregarded all the other things I had true passion for and forced myself to develop passion for Law, now I’m on a path of recovery. To know what I’m actually doing(that is, before school starts again☺) . Are you a high school student? Or perhaps you’re already in uni on your first year and you’re having doubts?
These are 5 tips that you’re probably chasing your parent’s dreams instead of yours:
1) When you tell your parents you want to study mass communication because you want to be a news reporter and they tell you medicine is better because you can solve maths. And you’ll get money😊. And you can do other said course as a hobby (design, photography, drama)
2) You finally agree because after all who doesn’t want money? But when you get to school. You can’t seem to stay focused in class? Even if you try to read It’s like your brain Isn’t computing. But it should because It’s just maths. Innit?
3) you finally put all your village people to shame and you now like your course especially that mortuary visit. Dead people are fun aren’t they? But somewhere deep down in you. You know you’re feigning interest but maybe if you try hard enough you might fool yourself into loving it.
4) Your parents call you by your future course title name. ( Doktor Doktor. Barrister daughter) you’re happy that they’re pleased and happy with you but you still fantasize about other said interest although not as passionate as before because you have succeeded in suppressing it because your parents convinced you that It’s not a solid career and you can do it as a hobby na (Singing, dancing, painting).
5) You’ve graduated (congrats?) Now you don’t have time to do your ‘hobby’ because your job takes most of your time and now you’re comfortable with your self so no need to go and rock the stage like wizkid again. (And there’s nothing wrong with that)
You graduate or halfway(maybe after reading this) decide to frame your certificate and give your parents while you fill the application for that 6 months art class you’ve been thinking about
You’re like me that realised in between you’re on the wrong boat. And have no idea what to do now. All I have to say is phew! That was close we almost lost ourselves to conformity but we out here now. Let’s take a break and figure out our various interests and pick the one we can see ourselves doing long term even if a lot of obstacles come our way.
On a more serious note. It’s not a shameful thing to take a break for a little while. Because where are we rushing to anyway? End of the day. We all going to get there but some just arrive earlier than others.
Point is; It’s good to figure out what we really want to do in our careers not what other people wants us to do. Pressure especially comes from our parents who want us to succeed in exactly the way they wish they could have. It’s not just for our careers for our self, for our sanity, for our ever evolving identity of ourselves
Let’s try to live more for ourselves little by little. And if you don’t know how? Follow me in my journey of self-discovery and you just might discover yourself too.
That’s all I’m saying loves.